Don't Be Ashamed, Be Who You Are

Don,t regret what you did because at the end, it makes who you are.

This Chinese New Year make me realised that we are getting older. Not getting younger. Most of my friend n people that very special in my history of life are getting merry. People are changing time to time. But most frequently question that i got is when...

Sometimes people, they don't really care about how other people feel when they ask question. The worst is, they are so judge mental. Although I'm fed up with serious relationship with woman it doesn't mean that i'm gay. I just don't want to get caught in relationship and unnecessary responsibility.

People said to me that i'm coward, chicken n so many things. Is it a sin to be afraid?, to be a coward?. Do they know how it feel to be afraid with serious relationship? What they can say is do that do this, do something that i cant do. Than they said "i can do it so can you". Hello, are you Mohd Ekbal Shah?, do your thumb print is same like me?. I understand that they try to boost up my spirit. But the thing is, im not strong enough. Let me make it clear n simple to understand. Im afraid, phobia to fall in love with woman.

Yes i admit that i'm phobia to fall in love with woman. It doesn't mean that i dont want to get marry. If i find one, my soul mate. A girl that will always be at behind me, will will marry her. But for the time been, i dont want to think about it...i just want to enjoy my single life and heal all the pain that I've been through.

In the same time, i'm thank to all my ex girlfriend for showing me the meaning of relationship. Now i realise one thing in life, girlfriend wont guaranty you that they will be at the back Of you to pull you up and push you a front when you fall down but good friends, best friend will. Never turn your back to this type of friends because the will never turn their back on you.

 And I'm very thankful to Allah to have this type of friend around me. But there's someone else that for sure, will never ever leave you hanging by your self is family especially your mother. How bad you are, how duds you are. Your mother will accept you n always give advice you base on her experience with love and care. Treat her nice, love her more then anyone else while she still alive.